


Purpose

by ThreeWhiskeyLunch



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, It's all angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 10:51:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11735538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeWhiskeyLunch/pseuds/ThreeWhiskeyLunch
Summary: Garrus tries to remember the good days between himself and Sidonis.





	Purpose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MundaneChampagne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MundaneChampagne/gifts).



> This is a treat for MundaneChampagne as part of the Spectre Requisitions rare pair exchange.

On good days he remembers the beginning and what came after. Before the additional crew. Before they organized and built a base. Before things got complicated.

Before there was betrayal.

He remembers their inauspicious first meeting when Sidonis served him a drink and Garrus noted the unusual markings on his mandibles and chin. He remembers their second, life changing meeting that same night when Sidonis opened the back door to the alley behind the bar and caught unawares the krogan that was trying to rob Garrus. (Garrus had been doing fine on his own, thanks very much, but how many arms did that krogan have?!)

He remembers what Sidonis had said, about something needing to be done about the crime on Omega, because Aria sure as fuck wouldn’t.

He remembers going back to Sidonis and asking him, “If you were going to do something about crime, what would you do?” and how they’d sat huddled in a booth, a plan slowly forming in the water droplets on the table between them. And how Sidonis had swiped the plan away with the palm of his hand, shaking his head. “It’s crazy. You’re gonna get yourself killed.”

So maybe that was the idea. But Sidonis didn’t need to know about that.

Later, when Sidonis had given him a new purpose, perhaps not the same as Shepard’s purpose, but a good one nonetheless, he wouldn’t really notice until it was gone and he was alone with the bodies of his crew laying around him and Sidonis’ betrayal sour in his throat.

But he doesn’t think about that on good days.

On good days, he thinks about Sidonis’ voice. How it had slowly woven itself under his plates and into sinew and vein; how slowly the timbre had changed when talking to him, losing formality and taking on affection; how one day it had undertones of _curious-interest-desire_ and Garrus had responded with ready agreement.

He remembers the small room where Sidonis lived, barely enough room for one person, much less two. But they’d fit on the bed well enough. It was there the plans for what would later become Archangel came into being; their words drifting into the darkness as they lay side-by-side. _What if we—_ and _How could we—_ and _We’d need a base._ Garrus’ heart would squeeze a little when he realized he wasn’t alone anymore.

It felt good and hopeful; a purpose that he’d lost once Saren had been brought down and Sovereign destroyed. It felt like a future he could believe in. Something to keep him from thinking about the past. About Shepard. About family.

On good days, he thinks about Sidonis’ family and wonders if the sacrifices the other turian had made for them was worth it. Because he’s certain that Sidonis was driven back against a wall. That’s what Garrus would have done if he’d been the gangs of Omega: make him choose between friends and family.

He knows they’re both alone now. Shepard was right. Sidonis has paid the price of his betrayal many times over. What more could be accomplished by taking his life? _Other than ending his suffering,_ Garrus thinks but does not say. Who is he to determine when one person’s suffering is greater than another?

On good days, he hopes Sidonis has suffered less.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
